Parashat Vayetze: Between Expectation and Reality

Seven years can pass like a few days when you’re in love. But what happens when those few days stretch into seven years of reality?

The story begins at a well. The shepherds tell Jacob that the woman approaching with the flock is Rachel, his cousin’s daughter.

“And when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of his uncle Laban, and the flock of his uncle Laban, Jacob went up and rolled the stone off the mouth of the well, and watered the flock of his uncle Laban. Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and broke into tears. Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s kinsman, that he was Rebecca’s son; and she ran and told her father.” (Genesis 29:10-12)

This moment captures both Jacob’s strength and sensitivity. Jacob offers to work seven years for Rachel, Laban’s younger daughter. Laban agrees, and then comes one of the most beautiful sentences about love ever written:

“So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her.” (ibid, 29:20)

Israeli author David Grossman once wrote that Jacob loved not only Rachel, but the anticipation of Rachel – that slow dance with time, the inner pleasure of waiting.

The sting of deceit

Then Laban plays his trick. Beneath the veil lies Leah.

“And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah! So he said to Laban, ‘What is this you have done to me? I was in your service for Rachel! Why did you deceive me?’” (ibid, 29:25)

The intensity of Jacob’s disappointment is impossible to imagine. And what does Leah experience, secretly married off to someone who doesn’t want her? Jacob commits to another seven years and then marries Rachel too. Jealousy comes to dwell with all three of them.

Leah bears children, but Rachel cannot conceive

The wonderful period of waiting ends. Leah bears children, but Rachel cannot conceive. The jealousy reverses – now Rachel envies Leah. The anticipation reverses too – from joyful waiting for fulfillment to heartbreaking waiting for children.

“When Rachel saw that she had borne Jacob no children, she became envious of her sister; and Rachel said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die.” (Genesis 30:1) So much pain lives in these words.

What should Jacob do? We might hope he would embrace her, comfort her, remind her of Sarah and Rebecca who also waited years for children. We can almost see him holding her compassionately.

But this doesn’t happen:

“Jacob was incensed at Rachel, and said, ‘Can I take the place of God, who has denied you fruit of the womb?’” (ibid, 2) The gap between romantic anticipation and daily reality converges into one sentence. Jacob feels attacked and cannot show compassion for his wife.

The roles are reversed

In a sense, Rachel becomes Leah – the less beloved, condemned to jealousy and unmet needs. The chosen sister becomes the rejected one. She also becomes Leah in another way: le’ut means weariness in Hebrew. The romantic becomes routine. Moonlit anticipation gives way to the endless repetition of married life.

The Torah tells us both stories – the seven years that felt like days, and the days that feel like years. The challenge of love isn’t only in the waiting or the dramatic moments at the well. The real test comes in the unglamorous everyday, when your beloved is hurting and needs you most.

Jacob knew how to wait seven years for Rachel. But when she needed him, he couldn’t find compassion.

How do we make daily life less weary? How can reality feel like anticipation? Not through longing, but through the harder work of staying present – choosing, again and again, to truly see the person beside us.

Lior Tal Sadeh is an educator, writer, and author of “What Is Above, What Is Below” (Carmel, 2022). He hosts the daily “Source of Inspiration” podcast, produced by Beit Avi Chai.

For more insights into Parashat Vayetze, listen to “Source of Inspiration”.

Translation of most Hebrew texts sourced from Sefaria.org
Main Photo: Jacob and Rachel at the Well\ Wikipedia